7 Things No One Tells You About Living Abroad

7 Things No One Tells You About Living Abroad

By Grace Coleman, Seattleites Abroad, Oct. 23, 2017

So you’re moving abroad for the first time? Well, if you’re a researcher, organizer, or information addict, you have no doubt done extensive research on your future home country. Props to you, you’re off to a good start. Despite all careful study though, there are just some things you can never be fully prepared for. Here is a list of seven things that took us by surprise when we moved abroad, seven things that nobody told us we would experience.

1. You will seriously regret your decision to move abroad

At least once. There were times during the first couple months of living in Korea where we had no idea why we were here. The weather was freezing, we were lonely, homesick, and in dire need of good Mexican food. We seriously questioned our decision to move abroad and several times thought of turning back.

Leaving would’ve been the easiest thing for us to do, but definitely not the most rewarding.

We are so glad now that we made the move to Korea. It was difficult at first but opened the door to so many incredible experiences. We can now honestly say that it was one of the best decisions we ever made.

2. Other expats will either be your best friends or worst enemies

It can be super neat meeting a fellow foreigner in another country. It feels like a breath of fresh morning air, a familiar face among a sea of strangers.

Generally, travelers are very genial and kind when meeting fellow wanderers, however you shouldn’t altogether forsake caution just because you are both from somewhere else. We’ve met some really nice foreigners during our stay in Korea, but we’ve also met some really creepy ones.

I’ll never forget this one time I met a Russian man on the subway in Seoul. He looked to be in his mid fifties, was balding, and had a dirty bandana clenched between his hands. I don’t quite remember how we started talking, but I do remember that despite his poor English he managed to communicate to me that he had come to Korea, “in search of a wife.” As he said these words, he pointed slowly to all the high school girls sitting across from us. He then went on to tell me again and again how beautiful I was—despite my previous comment that I was married. Yeah, creepy to say the least. You can be sure I got out of that situation as fast as I could.

3. The honeymoon stage of travel wears off sooner than you’d expect

If you haven’t traveled abroad before, it’s easy, and natural, to have a lot of romantic ideas about what the experience will be like. You imagine yourself watching majestic sunsets fade behind a hot air balloon filled sky, or dancing on a mountain summit in a flowing ball gown. Every photo is insta-perfect and no matter where you are the air smells like roses. But real travel stinks sometimes—literally and figuratively—so be prepared for these ideas to quickly fade as reality sets in.

Don’t get me wrong, travel is absolutely wonderful, and our sojourn abroad has been filled with magical moments that we’ll never forget. But if you’re being entirely realistic, the honeymoon stage of living abroad is very short lived. After all, living abroad is still living. The dirty work and unpleasant tasks of life still need to be done. You still need to clean your house, go grocery shopping, work, etc. You’ll still have sick days, rough days, and days of exhaustion. You will feel incredibly surprised how normal living abroad feels. And if you’re not careful this can easily be a letdown and you might find yourself feeling disappointed with real travel.

My best advice to combat the honeymoon blues would be: always keep a curious mind, ready to learn about your new home, and never forget to wonder at the beauty surrounding you.

4. Locals will pay you the most inappropriate compliments

ESPECIALLY if you are a female traveler. I cannot count the amount of times that this has happened to me and other girls that I have known or traveled with.

I think in many parts of the world, people view westerners as “loose” due to our representation in movies, music, etc; and so think it’s perfectly okay to make totally inappropriate comments or “compliments.”

From slightly inappropriate ice breakers like, “You look very beautiful. Do you have a boyfriend?” To really awkward statements such as, “If you were to marry me instead of your boyfriend, I’d give you twenty children.” This proposal actually happened. I definitely turned it down.

5. It’ll make you grow the heck up

I might as well end the blog post right here. This is so true! There’s nothing quite like travel to make you mature up and learn how to be an adult. You have no family or friends nearby to rely on and it’s entirely up to you to make sure you get fed, find directions, learn how to get around, etc. You’re a big kid now, and if you weren’t one before you left home, you sure as heck will be by the time you return.

6. You will reach the “breaking point”

Whether its three days, three weeks or three months after your move, eventually you will experience a time where you snap. After a while the wear and tear of travel will get to you, the excitement you first experienced being out in the world will fade and you will be left with nothing but kimchi and loneliness.

For me, the breaking point looked like accidentally spilling some food on my kitchen floor, and then falling apart and crying about it for the next two hours. Yeah, definitely not very pretty.

It will look different from person to person, and some of you will feel it stronger than others. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, don’t let it get you down. It will pass on and you will be left feeling stronger and less homesick then before. Just stick it out, find some ice cream, and it’ll get better—I promise.

7. You will experience reverse culture shock when going home for visits

Ah yes, reverse culture shock. While it may sound like a joke, this can actually be quite severe depending on how long you’re gone from home. It could look like not remembering how to drive a car, habitually bowing to everybody, or doing the “two-handed Korean grab” when giving/receiving things. It could even look like not remembering what a starry night looks like because it’s been so long since you’ve seen one (yay air pollution!)

Reverse culture shock can be a little disillusioning because you’re going back to a place you’ve called home, and instead of feeling relaxed you’re running into culture shock AGAIN! But don’t panic, instead take this opportunity to see your home through the eyes of a stranger. You’ll come away with greater empathy and respect for the expats living abroad in your own land.

So there you have it! 7 things that no one told us about moving abroad that we wished we’d known. I hope you found this blog post enlightening—or at the very least an enjoyable read. If you did, please share so that we can help even more travelers!

Have anything to add to this list? What is something you didn’t know about moving abroad? Let’s talk about it in the comment section!

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